Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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