I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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