oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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