Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
