I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
