Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
