I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Drunk is a universal language darling
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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