Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Girls should come with a carfax report
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
