She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
