I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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