there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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