This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
