So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
