Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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