my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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