hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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