so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
