we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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