PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
