anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
