smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
