Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
