yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
