Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize