if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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