I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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