My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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