alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
