just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
