im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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