What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
