Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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