rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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