I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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