it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
as a side note pls kill me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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