you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
