So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
