I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
