two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
