She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
