D3 body, D1 cock
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize