Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
