Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i think im in europe. pls send help
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