The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
