She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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