Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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