Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
