I have demons in me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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