OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
