some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
