operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
