either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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