piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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