I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
