Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
