Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
