Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
handjob tips. give me some.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
